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Holly Short



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Cinq, Cinco, Fünf, Cinque, Vijf - [07 Jul 1978|11:14am]
[ mood | Productive and planned. . . ]

Week пять, fem, 五:

28 days left until my final exams.

Day One –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Laws of Haven City.

Day Two –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Self Defense 1.

Day Three –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Weaponry 101.

Day Four –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Haven City Traffic Rules.

Day Five –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Human Contraband Prevention.

You know, I see the Academy Commander in my sleep, yelling at me not to go into unsecured buildings. . .

Right, we’ve been informed that to make it into the force, we’ve got to pass a series of final exams. When we’re through, the brass on the Council review our scores and figure out which of us pass. Our squad leaders suggested that we start studying the notes we have so far. Dov agreed with them, and Aster asked what notes those might be.

So, I’ve decided to start studying tonight. There is no reason why I shouldn’t pass my written exams. It would be awful and just plain unnecessary if I had to repeat this summer’s training over again. I’m also thinking about clocking more hours down in the firing range than I am already. I figure that if I practice more than just once a week, it’ll do me some good. Tomorrow morning, I’m heading down to the plaza to run through a few simulations. I wonder if anyone else will have the same idea . . .

1 Awoke || Awaken?

A Little Surprised: [30 Jun 1978|10:26am]
[ mood | Surprised ]

Week Four-

Last week of June!

Day One –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Laws of Haven City.

Day Two –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Self Defense 1.

Day Three –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Weaponry 101.

Day Four –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Haven City Traffic Rules.

Day Five –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Human Contraband Prevention.

No unsecured buildings!

I can’t believe it’s been four weeks. It’s a little crazy. I didn’t think I’d ever get use to this, but I slowly am. However, I still don’t see why anyone would want to do this willing. What was Robin thinking when he got into this? What are the other cadets thinking? It’s torture really – ten hour classes! I’ve three books of notes already!

Some things aren’t that bad though. I’m getting pretty good with a gun. It’s only been two weeks since we’ve had access to the firing range, but I’m hitting most of my targets perfectly. They don’t move, but I still think that’s better than most of the other cadets. Next week, we get to begin simulations. That’s something to look forward to.

So, Skye is speaking to me, but she’s being very minimalistic about it. Tonight, Fern is taking her out. They’re going to one of the swankier places in town. I think Fern’s just flaunting her new paycheck. Apparently, her new job at Koboi Labs is going really well. She’s been hinting that it won’t be long until she moves out. On one hand, I say – Good riddance! However, on the other – I picture myself living alone with Skye and Ash. I don’t know if I could handle that. Oh, Gods! I need a steady income!

Anyway, getting back on subject:
Fern took Skye out tonight, so it’s just the adorable brat and me. Heh. I’ve already put him to bed. He really is very sweet when he sleeps . . .

Awaken?

We'll How About That? [23 Jun 1978|12:37pm]
[ mood | Relaxed and Clean ]

Third Week -

Day One –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Laws of Haven City.

Day Two –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Self Defense 1.

Day Three –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Weaponry 101.

Day Four –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Haven City Traffic Rules.

Day Five –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Human Contraband Prevention.

I must repeat – I will NEVER run into an unsecured building during a firefight! Never, ever, ever! Good gods!

Anyway, it’s been the same old, same old this week. You know, I’m starting to see the outline of my abs. It’s not bad. Heh. By the time the summer ends, I bet I’ll end up nicely toned.

So, classes are going all right. And I’m finally getting to know some of the fairies who are cadets with me. We make eight altogether:

Aster Ryley - Elf, 94.
Varton Bancroft - Elf, 120.
Chix Verbil - Sprite, 73.
Lunt Oliver - Elf, 69.
Jasper Kito - Pixie, 84.
Rory Aden - Sprite, 76.
Dov Brennus - Gnome, 98.

My squad consists of Chix, Jasper, Lunt, and myself. But during classes we’re all together. Let’s see –

Chix is simply annoying. I believe he’s more into impressing me than actually taking this training seriously. He says he’s in this for the glory and the girls. Ha. He’s got this idea in his head that he’ll make Retrieval. Good luck, Chix.

Jasper is smart. I mean, really smart, but he’s a little weak in the physical department. I think he’ll make it, but he’ll have to put forth a little more effort to catch up to the rest of us in conditioning. He says, he’d like to apply for a techie position, working at simply a desk job. However, his want to see the surface is a little too strong to just go up there on hols every once in a blue moon.

Lunt’s the second to youngest. I believe he’s got a chance because he’s pretty well balanced. He’s good at self-defense already, so he kind of had one up on a few of us. However, I’m not sure he knows exactly what he’s going to do with his career. So far, he’s worked in shipping and packaging, been a tutor for juvenile delinquents, worked in a morgue tagging bodies, co-owned a landscaping business with his brother-in-law, and cut hair at an old-fashion, dwarven barber shop. Who knows if he’ll stay with the LEP, but he’s an elf with many talents to be sure.

Aster is a riot! He’s also a lazy bum - but a riot nonetheless. He’s always goofing off, and why his squad leader continues to put up with him, I don’t know. I would have turned him away by now, but maybe he sees something in Aster that we don’t. We’ve affectionately nicknamed him Aster the Ass, but I don’t think he minds. It’s clear that he likes the attention, really. It’s hard to say if he’ll make it or not. Well, I’ll wish him luck anyway, the big goof.

Varton Bancroft – most people just call him Van. You know how in a group there’s always that quiet one? The one you really don’t know what to expect from? Well, that’s Van. He doesn’t speak - unless spoken to. He won’t meet your eye, and he refuses to eat with us when we all go out for lunch. He’s not a bad looking guy, and though he’s the oldest, I don’t think it would be enough of an age difference to bar him from us. I guess it’s just his nature . . .

Rory Aden. You know, if I become half the shooter that he is, I’ll be satisfied. He’s amazing! Really brilliant with a blaster! Oh, he gets Chix steamed up. I think it’s gotta be something like a species rivalry between the two. Well, if that’s it – Rory is winning. He’s an ace at flying, too. The sprites do a few laps in the air every morning; Rory tops Chix hands down every time. However, Rory has a mouth on him. He mutters and mumbles under his breath, and I think it’s even come to the commander’s attention. Rory says that he’s on his way to the top of Recon. Well, we’ll see at the end of the summer . . .

The last of us is Dov, the gnome. Dov has been trying to get into the LEP for three years now. He’s got the athletic quality, but Dov is a dumb as a brick. And if you knew him, you'd know that I was just telling the truth and not trying to be cruel. I swear sometimes that the fairy has a little goblin in him. During class, he’s always asking questions. This would all be fine if the question just hadn’t been asked two seconds ago. Poor guy has the attention span of a stink worm and the memory of a goldfish. However, I must say, he is a really nice guy. Bought us all lunch one time . . .

Chix, Aster, Rory, Lunt, Jasper and I are all going out tomorrow night. It should be fun, but we’re not going to get too carried away. We all agreed that if we ended up arrested for public indecency or something that it would surely hinder our chance at being accepted into the force.

You know, things are getting better . . .

Awaken?

Second Week in Hell - [16 Jun 1978|01:33pm]
[ mood | Tired. . . Yawn. ]

Two weeks down:

Day One –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, hair pulling, Laws of Haven City.

Day Two –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Self Defense 1.

Day Three –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Weaponry 101.

Day Four –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Haven City Traffic Rules.

Day Five –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, Human Contraband Prevention.

So, it’s been two weeks, and the commander has still yet to stop pinning each of us to the wall. You know, I will never in my life run into an unsecured building during a firefight just to please that gnome. He’s so insistent; it’s really the least I can do.

Sigh.

You know, the strenuous exercise is really getting a little easier. This week, we started lessons, so we’re only doing exercise during the mornings. We go from 7 to 9 – that’s three hours of physical conditioning and ten hours of class, with one hour for lunch. Well, lunch and a shower, if I’m lucky.

No, Skye is still not talking to me.

Anyway, we take the same set of classes all summer. We pass these, and we become Privates. After another set of classes and a little work, one can get promoted to Corporal. Once you make Corporal, you can apply to join one of the specific branches of the LEP while working your way up to Lieutenant. However, it is possible to bypass this rank completely by passing the branch exam but not likely. Most of the time, they won’t even consider you for the exam unless you are a Lieutenant. Once you’re accepted into a branch, you become a Captain, which is where you want to be. They see the most exciting action. After that are the Majors – a lot of decisions and deskwork. Then come the Commanders. I’ll never make it there, but I guess it’s something to shoot for.
So:


Private
Corporal
Lieutenant
Captain
Major
Commander


And that’s how that goes.

Well, I’m gonna go and get some sleep now. It’s getting late. . .
Awaken?

Skye Saw Me - [12 Jun 1978|12:38pm]
[ mood | I don't know. . . ]

Skye exploded. Obviously, she doesn’t like my auburn crew cut.

I had to do what I had to do! What does she expect out of me? It’s not like I wanted to do this, mind you! I’m doing this for Robin! I’m doing this for my father! D’arvit!

She hates me. She’s not even talking to me. She won’t look at me . . .

Awaken?

Short . . . [12 Jun 1978|12:26pm]
[ mood | Pensive and a little numb. . . ]

Well, I did something desperate today.

I cut my hair.

I let him get the best of me, and I cut my hair.

How short, you ask? Well, let’s just say, I cried.

Skye and Fern haven’t seen it yet, but . . .

I’m afraid at what they’re going to say. Things were going so well. They didn’t ask, and I didn’t tell, but I feel that this may be crossing that line of casual uninforming.

It is so short.

Awaken?

First Week of Hell - [09 Jun 1978|11:56am]
[ mood | Exhausted and worn thin. . . ]

Well, they were right. A little under half of the cadets showed up this week. I was the only one from my squad, so I got moved. However, much to my dismay, my squad leader moved with me.

So, let me outline my week for you:

Day One –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, hair pulling.

Day Two –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, hair pulling.

Day Three –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, hair pulling.

Day Four –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, hair pulling.

Day Five –

Pinned to the wall, physically strenuous exercise, hair pulling.

Do we see a trend here? Hmm?

Everyday, I’m yelled at never to run into an unsecured building during a firefight, I do two hundred laps, three hundred pushups - etc, and I have my hair viciously pulled every time I pass my squad leader! I’m not quite sure how much more of this I can take! I’m going to scream if that bastard touches my hair one more time!

This is only the first week, Holly. It’ll get better.

What did I get myself into?

Awaken?

First Impressions: [04 Jun 1978|07:06pm]
[ mood | Exhausted and sore . . . ]

I must be in the worst physical condition of my life! Oh, gods! I’m surprised that I can even move. I hurt all over!

Well, at least I’ll get a break tomorrow, seeing as it’s the weekend. I’ll be able to rest a little. I think that they put the first day of training on a Friday so that you have a while to size up the pain you experienced and consider if you’re going to continue. Right now, quitting looks pretty good, but I’m not going for it. I’m going to stick this out.

Can you believe I was the only girl? Seriously, I was. Well, there were only about twenty of us. So, it was five squads of four. They expect less than half to show up next week.

Anyway, my squad consisted of two sprites, an elf, and myself. I didn’t catch their names, but that’s not my fault; there wasn’t much talking. Well, from us anyway. In fact, no one really said anything - everyone screamed.

So, my first impression of the LEP Academy Commander was thus:

My squad was all lined up against the wall of the Training Facility – a huge fenced in area, all ropes, tires, and obstacle course like. Our squad leader was outlining exactly what we were going to be doing over the summer, when this rather large and bulked-up gnome appeared.

Our leader introduced him as Commander Jasper. This, he explained, was the man we had to impress. He would be the judge of if we passed and were accepted into the LEP or failed miserably and were laughed at.

Commander Jasper stared each of us down, then without warning, rushed at me. Right at me! The act seemed completely random, as he pinned me to the concrete wall rather roughly.

“Let me give you a little advice, Cadet Short,” he barked into my face at the top of his lungs. All I could do was stand there between a chest the size of a bull troll’s and a hard place, my eyes as large as saucers.

“Never – I repeat, never run into an unsecured building during a firefight! Understood?”

It took me a while to realize that he was looking for a response.

“Uh, yes,” I managed to force out, but that wasn’t good enough.

“What was that, cadet? I didn’t hear you?” He shouted in my face, spitting a little as he did so.

“Yes, sir!” I shouted back at him. This seemed to be what he wanted; after my answer, he backed away.

The sprite beside me was finding all of it quite amusing, but not for long. In the blink of an eye, he was receiving the same treatment I had. In fact, every one of the cadets that day were all pinned to the wall at some point and told the same thing.

Later, our squad leader informed us why. Commander Jasper use to be a field commander before he took up the position of Academy Commander. During one of the missions he was leading, he led his team into an unsecured building. A firefight broke out, and he was the only one to leave that building alive. Ever since he took up the position he hold now, the lesson that he stresses the most, is the one which would have helped him in that situation. He doesn’t want his mistake repeated ever again.
Moving on –
Our squad leader is an arse! After the commander left out section, he immediately started to examine us, pointing things out that we did wrong with our uniforms and such. There was nothing he could find wrong with me, so he had to think of something else, and since it was the most obviously different thing about me – he chose my hair.

“Cadet Short, cut the hair. I’m only going to tell you once. It’s going to get in the way,” he stated to me.

Look, I really didn’t see how it could because it was pulled back and out of my face.

“Sir,” I said calmly- very calmly for me. “It’s out of my face; I don’t see what the problem is.”

Then, he just smiled. It wasn’t an oh, I see your way type of smile. It was a you think you’re really smart, don’t you? type that he gave me. I made my flesh crawl with tunnel blues – and that’s not a very pleasant thing to experience, thank you.

So, the day consisted of mostly physical conditioning. We ran laps, did push-ups, and various sorts of other strenuous exercises. This was all well enough; this was what I expected. However, I didn’t expect harassment form my squad leader.

Every time! Every time I passed by that bastard or he passed by me, he pulled my hair. He pulled my hair! On purpose! He’d say - ”That, Cadet Short, is how it gets in the way.” I’ve really got a head ache from it. It’s childish really! But, I know he’ll keep it up. He seems like that kind of person. However, I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of making me do something that is unnecessary just because he wants me too. Ha!

Anyway, I’m going to turn in early tonight. Skye, Fern, and the baby are out, so if I go to bed now, I can avoid them and any of their questions completely.

Gods, I hurt all over! I only have to endure this through the summer. Things will get better. This will get easier.

Awaken?

My First Day of Training - [04 Jun 1978|11:31am]
[ mood | Ready! ]

Alright, so – Skye made me breakfast. She didn’t speak to me, but she made me breakfast. What the hell is that suppose to mean? Does it mean, I forgive you enough to make you breakfast? Or perhaps – I still dislike you, but thanks for having the decency to take care of my crying kid while I went crazy? Maybe, I hope you have a good day, but I still don’t support this? You know, kind of like I support you but not your decision type of thing. Who knows with Skye?

So, today is my first day at the academy. It’s started with a shower and an egg sandwich; I think it’s going okay. I’ve just got to get down there in an hour. I’ll make it. I’ve got plenty of time.

I pulled on that nasty green, controversial uniform, and now I’m fixing my hair. This thing is really hideous. Dull green slacks, dull green shirt – short sleeved and snap-up, if you please – disgusting! And it includes a pair of heavy, combat boots. Joy. I’ve also got this little pin that I have to wear. It’s got my name on it – Cadet Holly Short. Cadet, can you believe that? I’m a Cadet in the LEP Academy.

So, I’ve pulled my hair out of my face – you know, back in a ponytail – and I’m ready to go.

Yes, I’m ready to go! I am in the best physical condition of my life, and I’m capable of handling anything they throw at me. Wish me luck! I’ll get back to you.

Awaken?

A Revelation: [03 Jun 1978|10:49am]
[ mood | Indescribable. . . ]

I’ve realized something: Ash isn’t all that bad.

I admit that as I stood over him, looking down at him as he screamed for our mother, that I hated him. However, leaving him there to just scream his little lungs out was not an option. So, I picked him up, thinking how horrible he was and how much he smelled.

I really didn’t know what I was doing. I mean, I’d never cared for a child, not to mention one that was only a day over two weeks old. The last baby in this house had been myself. Sure, I’ve watched Willow’s kids, but they’re old enough to talk.

Anyway, I picked him up, and immediately – he stopped crying. I looked at him, and he looked at me. And I realized exactly why I disliked him so much. There were two reasons really. He reminded me too much of my father, and he was replacing me.

I use to be the youngest. Not three weeks ago, I had been the baby. I guess, I was being a little jealous. Alright, I was being very jealous. What is wrong with me? Jealous of an infant, gods! I’m 60!

So, as I looked down at him and he looked back at me with Robin’s eyes, I decided to let it all go. Besides, he wasn’t that bad, now that I got a good look at him. He didn’t smell horrible, he wasn’t crying, and that nose of his was . . . rather becoming, I guess.

He’s so tiny! Cute little feet, cute little hands, cute little ears.

Anyway, Ash and I had an adventure. I figured out he was hungry after he whined a little, and I found a bottle in the refrigerator. I fed him, then he spit up on me. . . then I had to change him. Wait, did I just say he was cute?

Well after that, he seemed happy for a while, but then he began to get whiny again. It was approaching bedtime, so I assumed that he was tired. He fell asleep within ten minutes of me rocking him, and I fell in love.

He really isn’t that bad. In fact, I rather like him. He’s resting in my bed for now because Skye is still cooped up in her room with Fern. It’s been hours; maybe I over did it this time.

My first real day of training at the academy is tomorrow. I really need to get some sleep, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to, having to look after Ash. Well, it’s my fault really, so I’ll just have to push through it – sleep or no sleep.

Awaken?

Skye and Her Annoying Episodes, I Swear! [03 Jun 1978|08:57am]
[ mood | Aggravated and crappy. . . ]

Skye is having an episode. I really don’t understand what’s gotten into her, but she’s being so childish.

Sigh.

Alright, I suppose I’m being really unfair. I’m being extremely unfair and insensitive. I’m being a bitch – that’s what I’m being. Argh, I really hate myself sometimes.

But she has to understand where I’m coming from. She has to! It’s what he wanted, for crying out loud! He’d be so proud! He’d actually acknowledge me for once, instead of simply saying – “Oh, that’s nice, Willow,” and not even look at me. You know, he’d do that a lot, even after Willow had moved out.

So, it all started when I brought home my uniform. It’s not my fault they want us all to wear the same thing while we’re in training. When Skye saw it, she kind of paused for a moment. I was soon to find out that that instance was the calm before the storm.

Skye looked me in the eye and said, “You really are serious, aren’t you?”

And I, holding my horrible green uniform, said, “No, Skye. I’ve just enrolled in the LEP Academy for a hardy laugh. I’m really just joking.” And there I added one of my obnoxious, sarcastic laughs – you know, the one I inherited from Skye herself. “Oh, and this.” I held up the uniform. “This I’m going to make drapes out of. Don’t you just love the colour?”

Or at least I said something to that effect. And writing that out, I now see how horrible I must have seemed. I see why she went ballistic.

She hit me. Skye hit me, slapped me across the face. I guess I deserved it. No, I know I deserved it.

I could have waited to enroll at the academy. It wouldn’t have hurt me to wait a year or two – when memories of my father’s death weren’t so fresh. But, I didn’t. I couldn’t, and I’m still not exactly sure why.

So, Skye hit me, and as we’ve taken to doing since my father died, we fought. Vicious words flew, but I remember less than half of them. She argued, I countered. She countered, I argued. Robin always said we two were too alike. In the end, Skye locked herself in her room, which is typical of her. She likes to retreat there, especially away from me.

About halfway through the skirmish, Fern came home. She tried to get us to quit, but it was really no use. She followed Skye when mother finally decided she’d had enough of me – of trying to save me, as she put it. The glare Fern gave me cut me just as deeply as every thing my mother had just done. I know she hates me, and I don’t blame her. I hate myself a little right now as well.

I get where they’re coming from; I’m joining the organization that took Robin away, but I’m doing it for him. I’m not changing my mind. I’m committed.

As Fern left, she hissed at me to take care of the baby, who had been forgotten and was crying desperately in the rocker where he’d been for the past hour.

Me take care of that thing? It’s ugly and smells. It’s not my responsibility! Skye should have taken him with her into her hideaway. D’arvit!

I suppose I’m going to have to go see about him. I just left him there while I wrote this, but I figured – he’d been sitting there for an hour, what would five more minutes hurt?

Awaken?

What Happened When I Got There - [23 May 1978|12:13pm]
[ mood | Accomplished! ]

So, I walked to Police Plaza. We don’t live that far from it because Robin liked to be able to get to the office even if the thoroughfare was congested. The last time I’ve actually been to Police Plaza, I might have been 22, and I don’t remember a thing about it. Well, I think I could have located my father cubical, but that’s about it.

Anyway, I walked up to that building and realized for the first time exactly how huge it is. At three stories, it’s easily the biggest building on the block – in fact, it’s the only building on the block when you consider the Vehicular Department in the back. And that’s only the part of the building that you can see. I know for a fact that Police Plaza has basement levels that lead to the flare tunnels; how else would they get about?

Climbing the steps to the main entrance, I felt those same butterflies again. I remember thinking, Oh, gods, what am I doing? , as I walked up to the front desk. They didn’t go away until I was seated in the office of the employment manager, and that’s only because I forgot I was nervous. Things got a little rough.

Well, I was seated there, staring around at the certificates on the walls and things, when in walked a gruff-looking gnome. There was an awkward greeting, a little explaining, and some paperwork filling out. I thought things were going very smoothly, as I handed him my completed forms.

The gnome looked at them for a moment, then looked back up at me.

“You wouldn't happen to be related to Robin Short would you?” he asked.

“I’m his daughter.” I responded.

And then he said, “Young lady, are you kidding?”

Let me tell you how tired I am of hearing that phrase. I am so tired of hearing that phrase! I looked that gnome straight in the eyes and said with deadly seriousness - “Do I look like I’m kidding?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I was kidding because I wouldn’t be kidding! Do you seriously think I would joke about something like this? Do you think I would take the time to fill out all of that paper work? I pointed to the stack in his hands. “I wish that for once, the world would take me seriously!”

After my small outburst, things went better. The employment gnome seemed to see things my way, and he gave me a schedule of the Summer Training:

I pick up my uniform on June 3rd and training starts the 4th. We get weekends off – joy.

He also told me that I only need a year of training to graduate and become the lowest rank of officer. That beats four years of college for a degree I’m not using.

So, things seem pretty peachy.

June 4th . . . I can’t wait.

Awaken?

Today, My Life Changes - [23 May 1978|07:26am]
[ mood | Chipper, excited, nervous! ]

Today is the day I implement my plan. I’ve butterflies in my stomach, but I’m going through with it. I really shouldn’t be so nervous; I’m just going sign up, just write my name on a piece of paper.

Everyone is still sleeping – Sage and Rose stayed over, just in case, but Willow and Vince had to leave, take care of the kids, you know. I’m not going to wake anyone up. Besides, they’d ask where I was going, and I would have to tell them. That would just lead to another argument, and I’ve had enough of those for a while.

So, I’m going to grab a piece of toast and get back to you later. Wish me luck . . .

Today, I start my new career!

Awaken?

Rough Night. Gods, help me! [21 May 1978|01:17pm]
[ mood | Awake, though still asleep. . ]

Skye and the baby are home. . . .

I thought that having a baby around the house might be . . . fun. However, I realize now that I had grossly overlooked a few details – babies cry and crap. Fern, looking rather chipper this morning, informed me that she was use to this – the crying, I mean.

Besides, she said. It’s only been about 60 years since you were doing the same thing.

That said, I shot her a nasty glare. The effort I put behind that glare wasn’t really necessary as I looked enough like shit from the hours of sleep I missed, listening to that little demon wail.

Sigh.
Besides that, having that new little life around the house is alright. I mean, it takes all of our minds off of things. Ash gives us new hope. Ugly hope, but hope nonetheless.

But, you know, I can’t help thinking that if my father could have just lived a little longer. Just a little longer . . .

Two more days.

Awaken?

Normal Day of Taking Care of Business [19 May 1978|04:42pm]
[ mood | Busy but in a relaxed way. . . ]

So, Fern woke me up this morning, and I made coffee for her, Sage, Rose, Willow, Vince, and myself. Needless to say, we are now out of coffee. I'll have to run to the store later, not only for that, but for lunch and supper too. Gods, my family is a small army!

We all walked down to the hospital and brought Skye a bagle for breakfast: the kind with the little kiwi bits that she likes. She and the baby are doing fine, but I must say - that little thing is ugly!

Yes, my new brother is ugly. I believe that he's inherited our great-grandmother's green sheen because I caught his hair changing colour in the light, just like Fern's does. Disgusting. Plus, he's got Robin's nose. Poor thing. . . It's all hooked. Wait, I have Robin's nose! What am I saying?

Anyway, the doctor said that Ash and Skye should be able to return home in a day or two. Perhaps, this'll take her mind off of me enrolling. We'll, I'm off to make lunch.

Awaken?

Baby! [19 May 1978|04:18am]
[ mood | Tired - very tired. . . ]

Oh, gods. I just got back from the hospital about an hour ago. The baby is here - all 6 pounds of him! I'm exhausted to say the least.

Well, this week was certainly an exciting week - recital, graduation, and baby, who figured?

Ash Robin Short was born at around 4 pm. Skye went through a hell of a labor, but everything's fine. After she convinced me that I could leave the maternity ward, I came straight here. I need some sleep; everyone’s going to be coming over tomorrow to see the new baby. Oh, we're gonna be a small apartment full of people again.

I am not giving up my bed!

Sleep. . . must sleep.

Awaken?

Got a Degree [18 May 1978|05:43pm]
[ mood | Cynical ]

Graduation Day!

I finally made it through. After busting my arse, it's all over - really over! Thank the gods!

So, I've gained a little peice of paper that's going to do absolutely nothing for me. Terrific! You know, I bet if I showed my degree to the registrator when I go to sign up for the academy, he'd laugh at me. He'd laugh in my face and probably spit while he was at it.

Anyway, I go to sign up four days from now, so uh, life is good, I guess. Skye has been giving me the evil eye every time I bring it up, but she has to accept the facts. If she can't do that, she'll never come to terms with this. Oh, well. I am going through with it. In four days. . .

I'm excited!

And on a side note:
Jasmine took my ending our relationship really hard. Heh. She's not going to miss me in the slightest - just the money she could be making with me as her client. However, I feel no remorse. There are enough crazy people in Haven City to fill her bank account.

Awaken?

A Relatively Good Day . . . [15 May 1978|08:07pm]
[ mood | Accomplished and satisfied ]

So very sorry I haven't written in a while. When my counselor gets a hold of this book, she's gonna have a fit, but I've just been really, really busy since March. Besides, after this month, I'm not going to see her anymore. I put my foot down.

Yes, that's right, Jasmine. I know you're reading this, and I'm 100% serious. I'm not crazy like Skye, so I'm not dishing out anymore gold for you. By the way, your fees are ridiculous. But don't worry, I've decided to keep writing. I mean, some day people might want to read about how I became the first female LEPrecon officer.

But this is not the point of this entry. The point actually is that I've been very busy. So, I played catch-up for a few weeks, getting notes and learning positions (like I don't already know them all) from a few of my preferred classmates.

Trish and Clover have been a real help, but I think that once they figure out (or hear about - because I don't think they could figure their way out of a paper bag) that I'm going to join the force, they'll dump me. I mean, it's one thing when I'm dancing with them, but it's a whole nother thing for me to go around touting a gun.

Anyway, it's not like I need them anymore. Heh. Just for notes - self-absorbed bitches.

That aside, I was back on track by the middle of March, and began working on my final project. There's really nothing notable to put down during that period. I mean, I had a few fights with Skye about school and my decision - that I am still carrying out, thank you - but other than that, nada.

Moving on -

Tonight was my final recital. Everything went beautifully. If I don't pass with flying colours, I'm going to shoot my professor the minute I'm issued my future gun. When I got off of the stage - all hot and exhausted, mind you - Skye threw herself at me. I could feel her tears on my neck, and for the first time since father died, I really think we connected.

She had been a dancer when she was my age, and I guess, I was living her dream. Or at least, we were living the same one in that moment. Is it possible for me to please both of my parents and be what they both wanted me to be? Perhaps, or maybe one side will have to be buried. Well, I'll deal with that when it comes. I think for now, I'm going to just soak up the fact that I've had a relatively good day, and that I've made my mother proud.

Awaken?

Sulking - [04 Mar 1978|04:52pm]
[ mood | Behind and pressured . . . ]

So, I've missed two weeks of classes. Can you say, I 'm a little behind? Uh, it's frustrating. I have no motivation to complete my degree, but to please Skye, I'm going to have to push through this. Humph, I don't quite know how that's going to work out.

Anyway, we're still all sulking around the house, what do you expect? But today, Sage had to leave. He and Rose left early this morning, and the place has been relatively quite since then. I think, Skye has locked herself in her room. . .

Fern's gone out to pick up a few things for supper, and I'm not quite sure where Willow is, though she leaves tomorrow. I can tell that she's missing Vince and their two children. . .

I wonder if I'll ever settle down like that. . . Somehow, I doubt it. . .

I may not be writing for a while. I mean, I have so many things to do for classes and such. I've gotta try to squeeze them all in. I don't need another semester slowing me down.

Father, I miss you. . .

Awaken?

Against the Odds [24 Feb 1978|12:26pm]
[ mood | Annoyed at Skye; Mad at myself ]

Well, that could have certainly gone better. I don't think, I've ever heard my mother scream that loudly. I don't think, I've ever been that defiant. . .

I am going through with this. Though Skye may not want me to, it's what Robin truly desired from his children, or at least one of them, anyway.

I broke it to her softly enough, explaining that it was the only logical thing to do - it was the right thing to do. At first, she looked appalled. She regarded me with a disgusted half-smile on her face, and the words tumbled from her lips like acid.

"Holly, is this your idea of some kind of sick joke?"

Thoses words cut me deeply, but I wasn't going to give up my father's dream that easily. We went round and round for about an hour, screaming back at each other, trying to match the other's volume. When mother began to violently shake, I knew that I had gone too far.

Sage poked his head into the kitchen just as mother knees buckled. He caught her deftly and sent a glare my way.

"Holly, I think, it's time you gave it a rest and went to your room."

Go to my room?! I'm not a child! I'm 60 years-old! I can make my own choices! Screw you, Sage! This is all your fault, in the first place. . .

Alright, so maybe it's not his fault, but I feel like blaming someone. Anyway, I did as he said and stormed to my room. So, here I sit.

I know, I shouldn't put this much stress on Skye. She's been through a lot the past two weeks - plus, she's expecting, but she has to see my point. She has to understand that I'm doing this. I'm not going to be persuaded otherwise. I have made up my mind on the subject.

I can achieve this no matter what anyone says.

Awaken?

Commitment Ceremony: [23 Feb 1978|06:33pm]
[ mood | Blank . . . ]

My father's recyling ceremony was dismal to say the least. Bleak and black, all the high-ranking officers had shown up to say their last good-byes.

As they lowered his empty coffin into the decomposition vat, Willow let out a strangled sort of wail, and that did it for me. I collasped into Fern's chest, sobbing as I had never before in my life.

My mother was quite the oppoiste, Skye was the picture of composition. I guess, she couldn't cry anymore. I guess, all of her tears were spent. She had let them run so freely days before, when she wept for her husband, her widowed state, and her fatherless children, but now, she could weep no more. She knew that my father's body wasn't in that coffin - it had been devoured. She wasn't saying good-bye to him in that instant; she already had.

Beside her stood Cassandra Vinyaya, trying to keep her composure. She wiped a few tears from her eyes, but stayed strong for her close friend. As my mother's shoulders began to shake, she gingerly placed her arms around her, supporting her. Skye was less stable than she looked. . .

At a short distance, my father's two friends stood. Briar Cudgeon bowed his head, looking at the floor - too ashamed to meet my mother's eye or look anyone else in the face. Silent tears streamed down his face for the loss of a friend. In contrast, Julius Root stood stoically watching my father's casket vanish, though as I regarded him, his eyes never moved. Though he seemed to be gazing at his far-gone friend, he seemed to be actually deep in thought - either that or trying to block the whole event from his mind. . .

After the ceremony, I was left with a numb feeling. I believe, it was at that moment, I realized that I would never see him again, but I had dried my tears, and they didn't spring forth again.

Like my mother, I have decided to cry no longer. It is time for me move on, well, as best I can. . .

I'll break the news to Skye tomorrow. I'll confess my plans. . .

Awaken?

Nightmares . . . [23 Feb 1978|01:47am]
[ mood | Horrified and Shaken . . . ]

Woke up drenched in sweat and tangled in my sheets not five minutes ago. . .

Hopefully, if I write my dream down here, the pictures in my head will cease to be so bold in my mind. They're painful, violent, sickening . . . and provided solely by my imagination because I wasn't brave enough to watch the footage, not after what it did to mother.

I think, I might have screamed out in my sleep; I'm shaking all over. . .

I saw my father, he and the two others on his squad - his teammates and his closest frineds, Briar Cudgeon and Julius Root - landing in a thicket of tree next to a grazing field. They walked though the undergrowth with caution, following all procedure, scoping out the area for the Retrevial boys. Then suddenly, it was upon them - upon my father, spearing him with his tusks, ripping him limb from limb. Blood, pain, fear, screams, desperate calls for back-up. . .

The others fled blindly. . .which is all they could have done.

D'arvit! It's all they could have done! Being ambushed like that by a bull troll. . .

It's all they could have done. . .

Should I really consider the LEP?

I need to get some sleep . . . commitment ceremony in the morning.

Awaken?

My Father's Will [22 Feb 1978|04:14pm]
[ mood | Determined to Reach my Goal ]

I will always remember one thing about my father - what he wanted of us. As long as I can recall, he spoke fervently of one of us following in his footsteps. . .

Well, not one of us - the LEPrecon is an all male branch of the LEP - but one of his sons. Sage had 'let him down', becoming a Biochemical Engineer, but Robin had come into a renewed hope with the baby on the way - a baby boy. I sometimes wonder if we, his three daughters, had disappointed him simply because we didn't possess the ability to follow him into the Law Enforcement field, which he so dearly loved in life and which unfortunatly took him from us.

Late last night, this got me thinking. What if Ash - Ash being what mother has decided to name our new brother - what if Ash decides that he's not cut out to join the LEP? What if he detests Law Enforcement all together? Father's will may never be fufilled.

It's a very unsettling thought, one that hasn't occured to my other siblings. But could I really ask them to take on this burden? They each have their own careers: Sage - Biochemical Engineer, Willow - Mass Communications and Marketing, and Fern begins work at Koboi Labortories this week. It's going to be lonely in the house with just me and Skye, but that's not the point. The point is that they've all started their lives, and what am I doing with mine? Sure, in a few months, I'll have my Fine Arts degree, but where is that going to get me? What am I going to do? Open up a dance studio? Unlikely. . .

I believe, I've made up my mind. Since, I'm the only one willing to do it, I'm going to. This summer, I'm going to enroll in the LEP Law Enforcement Academy. I'm going to trade my leotards for a stifling uniform. I'm going to trade my soft hands for callouses. I'm going to follow in my fathers footsteps because he so earnestly yearned for it. It's the least that I can do for him. . .

I'm going to become an LEP officer.

I'm going to be the first female in the LEPrecon.

I'm going to do it for my father, but what will Skye think?

Awaken?

Cause of Death: [21 Feb 1978|07:04pm]
[ mood | Disturbed . . . ]

Today, Skye Lark Short gave the Council a peice of her mind. She stormed into the midst of them, eye blazing, temper flaring, and demanded to know just what had happened to her husband. . .

Up until that point, they had refused to tell us what had actually happened to my father to cause his death. Most of us spectculated some freak core-diving accident, but that was not the case. . .

The Council, at my mother's request demand, let her veiw the footage of Robin Short's last moments, as seen from his perspective and the views of his comrades - Capts Briar Cudgeon and Julius Root.

She was hysterical for hours. . .

Finally, having composed herself, mother, her being shaking so violently that Sage had to brace her, told us exactly what had happened. She told us about the rouge troll that had attacked my father and his squad of Recon officers. She told us that there was no body left. . .

They said that there was confusion, a mix up. While tracking the troll, somehow, the squad had misinterpreted a reading on their locators and started to follow a rather large bull. By the time they had realized their mistake, the troll had taken advantage of their lack of guard, ambushing them - rushing right into my father. It tore him to shreads before any of them knew what was happening, making a meal of his flesh . . .

Awaken?

How Will This Help? [20 Feb 1978|02:18am]
[ mood | Emotionally Drained ]

Mother suggested that we all keep journals. She said that it would help us all organize our thoughts and feelings. . .

Quite frankly, I don't know how this is going to help. I want to release my feelings, not have to relive them on paper. I want to stop thinking, stop breathing, stop living. I want to go back to the way things were just a week ago. Back when father was

I want to do something besides feel helpless. I feel so alone, so abandoned. I don't think things will ever be the same. Never again. . .

Why did he have to go? Why wasn't he helped? Why wasn't he saved?

Oh, these questions are pointless! They can't be answered, and they're just leading me to blame other people for my father's death. . .

No one is to blame, really. Though, I can't help thinking

No one is to blame. . .

Awaken?

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