I admit that as I stood over him, looking down at him as he screamed for our mother, that I hated him. However, leaving him there to just scream his little lungs out was not an option. So, I picked him up, thinking how horrible he was and how much he smelled.
I really didn’t know what I was doing. I mean, I’d never cared for a child, not to mention one that was only a day over two weeks old. The last baby in this house had been myself. Sure, I’ve watched Willow’s kids, but they’re old enough to talk.
Anyway, I picked him up, and immediately – he stopped crying. I looked at him, and he looked at me. And I realized exactly why I disliked him so much. There were two reasons really. He reminded me too much of my father, and he was replacing me.
I use to be the youngest. Not three weeks ago, I had been the baby. I guess, I was being a little jealous. Alright, I was being very jealous. What is wrong with me? Jealous of an infant, gods! I’m 60!
So, as I looked down at him and he looked back at me with Robin’s eyes, I decided to let it all go. Besides, he wasn’t that bad, now that I got a good look at him. He didn’t smell horrible, he wasn’t crying, and that nose of his was . . . rather becoming, I guess.
He’s so tiny! Cute little feet, cute little hands, cute little ears.
Anyway, Ash and I had an adventure. I figured out he was hungry after he whined a little, and I found a bottle in the refrigerator. I fed him, then he spit up on me. . . then I had to change him. Wait, did I just say he was cute?
Well after that, he seemed happy for a while, but then he began to get whiny again. It was approaching bedtime, so I assumed that he was tired. He fell asleep within ten minutes of me rocking him, and I fell in love.
He really isn’t that bad. In fact, I rather like him. He’s resting in my bed for now because Skye is still cooped up in her room with Fern. It’s been hours; maybe I over did it this time.
My first real day of training at the academy is tomorrow. I really need to get some sleep, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to, having to look after Ash. Well, it’s my fault really, so I’ll just have to push through it – sleep or no sleep.